by G. Lee

Created on: January 30, 2010   Last Updated: January 31, 2010

Suppose your group of friends are smoking secretly in the school restroom during school hours. They pass you a cigarette and ask you to smoke too. You know it is against the school rules and voice this out. The rest of the guys begin to call you "chicken" and "sissy". How do you deal with this peer pressure?

Let's suppose again you are with a few friends, loafing around town. Then, a friend takes out a bottle with little red pills inside. He says that taking these pills make you real "cool" and moreover, they make you feel "high" and real good. He pops one of these pills into his mouth and so do the rest of your friends. You don't want to take drugs but neither do you want to appear a fool before your friends. How do you deal with the peer pressure here?

Finally, let's suppose you and your group of friends are talking about pre-marital sex. Suddenly, they discover you are the only one who has not slept with your boyfriend or girlfriend. They sneer at you for being so "old-fashioned" and insist that if you want to be their friend, you must do the same. You know it is not right to engage in pre-marital sex but if you don't do as the group says, you won't have any more friends. How do you deal with this situation?

The above hypothetical cases are just some examples of peer pressure and the crises confronting many teenagers today. It is good if you begin to think now what you would do if you are in a similar spot. The important question here is: How do you make a stand and deal with the pressure of doing something wrong? You just have to say "No".

In order to be able to say "No", firstly, recognize the fact that the rest of your friends are also under the same pressure that you feel. They are tempted into smoking, taking drugs or being involved in pre-marital sex simply because they are afraid to be different. They are afraid that if they do not conform and do what the rest of the "gang" do, they might not be accepted and they will have no friends at all. So, they act like jellyfish, and allow themselves to be pushed into doing whatever the rest want them to do.

Secondly, realize that it is better if you show that you have confidence in yourself when pressure is greatest. You can say to your friends, "If you people want to do this, go ahead. But I think it is stupid." That is not being childish or arrogant but a way of showing that you have the courage to oppose the group when they are wrong.

Finally, realize that most teenagers respect a guy or a girl who has the courage to be his or her own person, despite being mocked by others. An individual with this kind of confidence often becomes a leader. This person has shown that he or she does not feel inferior like the other followers, and has the guts to stand up for what he or she knows is right. Thus, if you make such a stand, you are likely to influence others who are looking for that one friend who will help them increase their confidence. You might make it possible for someone else to oppose peer pressure too.

So, say "No" to your peers when they pressure you into doing things that are legally and morally wrong. You are the one who is going to emerge from the situation as the true winner!

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