by T. Scott Randolph

Created on: January 29, 2010

Relationships don't always work out. After a period of time, often referred to as the honeymoon period, the little nuances that were cute, become very annoying. It happens to everyone. That is why you aren't married to your high school sweetheart. We all have ex-girlfriends, boyfriends, wives and husbands.

There is obviously not a cure all that will work for everyone. That is the wonderful thing about dating in the first place. Every person is different, when you put two variables together the mix will always be a surprise. It is this surprise combination that will often propel you to get back out there and date again.

What if you are happy with the person that you are with? Many relationships end over the little things that could have been avoided. How can you avoid the break  up in the first place?

First, put yourself in the other person's shoes. What motivated them to do whatever it is that has made you angry? Would you have reacted in the same way? You have to look at yourself before you pass judgement. It may sound harsh, but don't be a hypocrite. Is the other person doing the same thing that you would have done? That is not a good reason for a break up, but it is the reason that many people use.

If one of the couple don't want to be in the relationship, there is nothing that can be done. You may placate them for the time being, but eventually they will find some little thing to use as an excuse to break up. In this case, there is very little that can be done. The question is, do you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want the same thing that you do? Would you ever be able to honestly trust them? Of course you wouldn't. Before you put the time and energy into preventing the break up, make sure that you are both on the same sheet of music and want to be in the relationship.

If you are in the relationship, and you both want it to work, but you can't seem to get along, what do you do? The answer is deceptively simple. Like the game Othello, a minute to learn but a lifetime to master. The answer to most relationship problems is good old fashion communication. That's right, if you actually communicate with your significant other you will be able to get over the speed bumps on the road to happiness.

This is obviously easier said than done. It is easy to say that you will talk over the problems and come to a common solution. it is quite another to actually do it. It is hard to bare your soul, even to someone that you trust. That is exactly what you have to do though. You have to be able to tell the other person what is on your mind, what you are feeling and why. That is the only way to stop a petty squabble from ending a relationship. It doesn't happen overnight. It takes a lot of practice as well as trust on bother sides. If you are truly meant to be together, it is worth the trouble. Learn to talk to each other, you will find that problems that seemed a big deal really aren't after all.

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