by Jessi Michaels

Created on: January 29, 2010   Last Updated: January 31, 2010

I love Charlie Brown. Yes, I am aware that this article is about talking versus communication. The most ingenious commentary in the Charlie Brown cartoons is the voice of the adults. You remember them, those annoying, non-sensible utterances that came from the mouths of teachers and other adults unseen.

Many adults can talk and talk and then talk some more while truly never saying a thing. Communication cannot take place if two people are simply talking; processing and responding must accompany conversation if true communication is to take place. I can't imagine there is anyone out there who has not experienced speaking to someone who had absolutely no interest in what you were saying but rather cared only that they spoke and you listened.

Communication takes work and cooperation. Talking and truly listening do not always come easily, especially when the subject matter is uncomfortable or unpleasant.  In any relationship, be it personal or business, communication is essential to understanding. It is the road to resolving problems and may prevent unnecessary heartache. When feelings are running rampant it is very difficult to take that deep breath and let someone else have their say; but it is possible. Usually, if we really listen there is something worth hearing and vice versa. It is so much easier to plan a rebound attack while tuning out what another is trying to say.

Along with actually hearing, watching body language and looking at facial expressions, aid greatly in understanding what is behind and beyond the words. If you are unable to do so, allow yourself a cooling off period, many times things seem worse when in the heat of it. Let it go and return to it later; you may see things from an entirely new perspective.

Remember communication is in itself a partnership. Remembering the following communication rules can help build, strengthen and reinforce a lasting relationship.

Say what needs to be said, without creating a speech.

Stay on the subject at hand, leaving past unrelated issues aside.

Communicate appropriately based on age and understanding.

Do not interrupt.

Restate what you heard to make sure you are truly hearing the other person and allowing them to see that you are listening.

Do not hesitate to ask questions when it is your turn to respond.

Relationships of all type take work. People carry a lot within; some of these things that may come out when one simply talks as opposed to communicates. If you ever need a reminder of what it is like to just be making noise without really being heard; just think of Charlie Brown.

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