by Nadine Angela-Louise Jones

Created on: January 27, 2010

There’s a rage in me,

An unstoppable fierceness that wants to kill you,

I need to break free of myself,

If I could tear from my bonds!

I feel like I have been shoved into a body that doesn’t fit my soul,

Something has stuffed me into this skin,

It enrages me,

You incense me further with your whining,

Everything has to be a drama,

Why can’t you just be happy?

Are you too small for your skin?

Are you an opposed kin of mine,

You shrink and wither,

Its weak and it gets old quickly,

You anger and hurt me quickly,

I want rid of you,

I want to hurt you,

To bite you and tear at you,

To punch and push you away,

And yet when you say you won’t come I despise you for not being there,

For not being with me,

For not wanting me,

For not wanting to hold me,

I fill my skin when I’m with you but I don’t explode from it,

I feel no need,

It’s not that your arms hold me in,

Nor that you make me smaller,

Rather it’s as if your body gives me that extra room,

Your presence somehow gives me the space that I needed,

This is odd, because it is your brooding

Your hurt and solemn self degradation

 That makes me rise and hate you,

Makes me want to lash out at you so thoroughly,

Why can’t you just be happy?

Why can’t you see?

Why do you incense me so?

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