by Judy Pedraza

Created on: January 27, 2010   Last Updated: January 29, 2010

Although sex and drugs are difficult topics, it is of the utmost importance that you discuss them with your kids. You and/or your kids may feel awkward, but must remember there is no way to shelter them forever and if they don't learn from you, they will learn from somewhere else. It can be of great value if you are the first to teach your kids to take pride in their body and  keep it drug and disease free, before the  other kids possibly teach them how much "fun" these things can be.

When they are very young (toddler or preschool), you should start by teaching them about their "bathing suit" areas and about inappropriate touch. This information could possibly keep your little one safe from abusers because if they are ever in that situation they will know that no matter what the abuser says, it is not ok. Starting out when they are small might also help the child feel more comfortable discussing these things with you when they get older. Be sure to reassure them, that if they ever have any questions they can always come to you.

After a child is older (10-12 maybe earlier if they come to you with questions), you can start to talk to them about puberty and the changes they will go through. This is also when you should start teaching them about sex because you can be sure their friends at school are talking about it or maybe even doing it. It is important to teach modesty without making them ashamed. Kids also need to know that even if their friends make bad choices they are in control of their own bodies and the beauty of waiting for true love. You should try to have informative books/pamphlets so they could read more about it. Try not to openly forbid it because if they are going through a rebellious phase they will be sure to do the opposite of what you want.

When they are in thier teens you should have established open communication about sex and can have more mature discussions. You should talk to them about contraceptives. There are alot of parents who don't believe in this, but look at it this way, there is no way to lock them up 24/7 and if your teens are already having sex it is best that they learn how to do it safely instead of getting pregnant or diseases. You might want to make an appointment with the doctor so your teen will have access to contraceptives if necessary.

When it comes to drugs you need to teach them to say no as early as you can depending on their maturity level. You need to be ready to answer questions and show them the bad effects. Again you can use books/pamphlets if necessary. Do not forget that it is better that they first learn about drugs from you. It will be harder to deter them after other teens or preteens have put false information in their head.

These talks can be very valuable when your child is in the real world deciding what to do. Your words may even one day save their life.

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