by Elaine Sihera

Created on: January 27, 2010

Love seems to blossom at work as more than 50% of couples meet their partners there. Having to work long hours, coupled with the social nature of the worklace, tend to bring people together much more than any other activity. So dating a coworker is quite commonplace as long as certain parameters and potential pitfalls are borne in mind.

First, consider the nature of your work.

Ensure it is not the type in which either of you will be compromised by the relationship . You would also have to be careful that your friendship does not compromise a mutual project you are both involved in, like the prosecutor and defence in a criminal case who dated each other while the trial was going on. This might have affected the outcome for the accused, if both parties were swapping notes while having their dinner! If your work will involve others in a prejudicial way, like working in Human Resources where you both can affect personnel decisions, it would not be wise.

Second, date your equal rather than your boss

If you are junior to your date in status, that could have potential problems if things went wrong or did not work out. You could end up losing more than a lover with a senior person. It could even be your job. Other advantages of dating on your level is that any interest between you won't be misinterpreted as one person seeking to get any career advantage from the friendship, you are likely to share the same schedules and less likely to attract attention.

Third, keep it discrete and professional

This tends to be the hardest part for the people involved as new relationships tend to make us feel joyful, carefree and careless. Try to keep the friendship on a discrete level, from interfering with work responsibilities, and from making other colleagues uncomfortable or anxious. This is so important, especially when the relationship is developing because if your work is slacking because of it, or others are made to feel uncomfortable, it won't go unnoticed! If the status of the two people are unequal, it may also be perceived by coworkers as favouritism by the boss.

Fourth, ensure mutual attraction before trying to date

This point is very important with coworkers because the workplace is sensitive to gender differences and appropriate behaviour. If the other person isn't amenable, it could be misconstrued as some kind of harassment, which is not good for your job as legal action could be involved, especially if you're not taking 'no' for an answer..

Fifth, make sure that there is dignity and maturity in any break up

The worst thing for you both would be to wash the relationship linen in public. No matter how you feel about each other you have to be both discreet and professional when you are at work together. The main thing is that your performance shouldn't suffer because of it, neither should the professional interaction between you. It means that others won't be affected too much, or become drawn into your private life, because you've fallen out. If it s really difficult to maintain interaction with your date, then seeking a transfer might be an answer.

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