by DThere

Created on: January 26, 2010

What is a friend? A friend is a person that we want to share our thoughts and ideas and someone we like being with. There are different kinds of friendships: New, exploratory, tentative, expanding, intimate, and spiritual.

A new friend is a person we have just met. We think we are attracted to the personal qualities of this person but may not know fully why. We decide to continue to communicate and interact with this person to get to know him or her better. We may or may not identify this person as a friend in the future.

In an exploratory friendship we are uncertain if we want a friendship with a particular person. Additionally, we may be in contact with someone because we are in a life transition and our connection with this friend may be part of a temporary support system. This type a friendship may also include someone we meet with or see from time to time but never really get to know well or plan activities with.

A tentative friendship is also uncertain relationship. Perhaps we are visiting a particular location for a couple of months and desire companionship while away from home. We may develop a relationship with someone for this purpose. This person can be a new or an exploratory friend but due to the fact that we will be leaving, the friendship is tentative. However, a tentative friendship can become more consistent if we decide to continue long distance contact or if either individual relocates in the vicinity of the other.

An expanding friendship is no longer tentative or exploratory. In an expanding friendship we develop an ongoing, closer relationship with our friend. We meet together consistently and disclosure continues and becomes deeper.

Within an intimate friendship, we develop a close bond. Essentially, it is as if each person has adopted each other as supportive influences for each other. The friendship is honored and cherished and deepens through time. An intimate friendship can include shared romantic feelings and sexual attraction.

Spiritual friendships revolve around spiritual concepts and ideas that become more important than any other activities or efforts. Respect for shared spiritual experiences and content is a produced by this type of friendship. This friendship may include shared praying or reading of spiritual literature.

All friendships help us meet our needs for companionship and socialization. We need to have people in our lives with whom we can share our thoughts and feelings safely. A friendship can help us make decisions to improve our lives. We learn from others; friendships provide insight into new ideas and activities. Through friendships we can become happier with ourselves and overcome various obstacles that we encounter.

We should choose our friends wisely. Choosing people for friends who do not respect us, mistreat us, are not truthful about important aspects of their lives, who are critical, or who use us can harm us. Characteristics of a good friend is someone who treats us with respect, listen wells, and is genuinely concerned about how we feel and how we are doing.

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