by Rebecca Graf

Created on: January 26, 2010   Last Updated: January 27, 2010

If you have in-laws, more than likely you have some tension.  I think it all comes down to the fact that the first marriage had the perfect in-law: God.  After that it all went down hill.  How can you possibly compare to the perfect father-in-law?  The first daughter-in-law/mother-in-law relationship had to tread the waters of the relationship without much guidance of those that had gone before.  The whole in-law thing was something new.  In all honesty, it has mostly deteriorated over the centuries.

Let’s begin with saying that usually there are issues on both sides of the in-law coin.  I’m not going to sit here and justify the actions of either side.  To be honest, both might need to be taken out to the woodshed and whipped into shape.  Very rarely have I found where the relationships are one sided though I have personally witnessed them.  Here we are going to look into how to cope when the in-laws interfere by taking one step at a time. 

Ok, you are newly married, newly a parent, or just plain married.  If an in-law is in the picture, I would bet that you have a problem with them interfering.  It will happen unless you have the ones that we need to right books about.  You could make millions on it or be burned in effigy out of pure jealousy.  So what do you do?  Well, a lot of it comes to taking a deep breath and then……one moment at a time.

There is no one formula to deal with family in general much less with those in-laws.  When first entering a family, there are several ways that it can occur.  You maybe welcomed with open arms and the opportunity to build relationships, or you walk into the pit of vipers.  It is almost a roll of the dice but much of it involves the people, their past, and the circumstances of your relationship with your spouse.  But how you react to each situation will help you make it through the tough times and you will grow as a person and maybe even enhance your relationships with your in-laws.

Taking a Deep Breath

One thing that you should always do in any tense situation is to just breathe.  That is a wonderful therapeutic exercise that helps you physically and emotionally as well as mentally.  You give your body much needed oxygen as it reacts to the stress which prevents some of the damage stress does do you physically.  It also slows down the emotions that are welling up or rushing

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