by Dawn Hawkins

Created on: January 25, 2010

The teen years can be very frustrating for parents. Your relationship doesn't seem as close as it once was and you can't understand half the things that they do. If you want to work out the frustrations, you have to learn to understand them a little better. They aren't as difficult as they appear. It is only because you are their parents that they seem so far away in outer space.

Here are some tips on understanding your teen better:

Remember When

Try to remember when you were a teenager. Remember how hard things seemed back then. You had a lot of stress on you but your parents didn't seem to care. They thought your life was nothing but fun. They forgot what it was like to be a teenager. When you are young, you haven't learned all of your lessons yet. The older you get, the wiser you get. Remember when you weren't older? Back then, you thought you knew it all, you thought you had all the answers and that your parents didn't have a clue. As teenagers, we truly believe these things. That is why teens don't listen to their parents when we tell them things. They have to learn on their own. Experience is the key sometimes. If you want to understand your teens more, you have to put yourself in their place.

Listening Helps

When your teen talks, listen to what they say. You may not understand him/her right away. Let it settle in you’re a little and give it some thought. You might realize that you understand your teen much more than you realize. Think about how your teen talked about certain things. Understanding your teen isn't the same things a disagreeing with him/her. Keep that in mind. You may not understand why your teen doesn't want to go to college. Listen to what he/she says. Maybe it isn't that he/she doesn't want to, maybe it is because of fear of failure. That is just one example. The idea is to understand even if you don't agree. Once you figure out what the real problem is, you can work on it with your teen to meet in the middle.

You Don't Always Need to Understand

You don't always have to understand everything your teen does or says. There are some things that a teen needs to work out for themselves. Parents are there to guide their teenagers in life, not give them all the answers. When you try to give your teen all the answers, he/she will probably ignore it and you won't understand why. You don't have to understand it all. Just be the parent that you are supposed to be. It will all work itself out.

Understanding your teenager isn't always easy. Give yourself some credit. You probably understand a lot more than you realize. Follow the above tips to help you through the teen years. Better days are coming. When they turn into adults they understand you more too. You aren't the only one who doesn't understand within the family unit.

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