by Michael Harrison

Created on: January 25, 2010

Shopping is something that I look forward to about as much as I look forward to going to the dentist.  A necessity but something I'd rather put to someone else rather than have to do it myself.  I don't like driving to the mall, I don't like parking at the mall, I don't like anything that is associated with the mall.  My afternoons are better spent elsewhere.  Women on the other hand, enjoy the mall.  You hardly ever see a guy at the mall who enjoys shopping.  In fact, if you look close enough, if a man and woman are shopping together, most of the time he is sitting on a bench waiting for her.  Or maybe he is in the store with her scrolling to ESPN mobile to get the score on the game that he could be watching if he wasn't with her in retail hell.

Just look at the difference in the way men and women shop.  If a man needs a pair of pants, this is how it breaks down.  He decides, before he goes to the mall, which store he will make his purchase at.  He looks at the clock and the t.v. guide to make sure this little adventure doesn't interfere with the game on that day.  He drives the most direct route to said mall.  He parks, most of the time in the first available space regardless of proximity to the store he intends to invade.  He goes in, picks out a pair, tries them on, goes to the register, pays for his purchase and leaves.  Elapsed time: about an hour.  Money spent: about $50.

A woman needs a pair of pants.  First she needs to get ready.  After styling, then restyling her hair, she decides her make up isn't good enough and does that over again.  Now she can't find anything to wear.  After tearing through the closet and dressers for 45 minutes she finally finds something that she doesn't think she looks fat in.  Now she heads to the mall.  After turning around because she realizes she forgot her purse, she heads to the mall, again.  She doesn't go to the one closest to the house, shes been there a thousand times and they never have what she wants.  Finally arriving at the mall, we circle the parking lot for 20 minutes hoping for a spot just outside the front door of the mall.  She finally gets parked and heads into the mall, turning around to go back to the car because she forgot her purse again. 

We're finally in the front door.  We head into the pet store to ooh and awe at the puppies and kittens.  After accidentally wandering

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