by D. Begole

Created on: February 20, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

I was thinking about the phenomena of being 'in love'. Remember that feeling? That 'I can't wait to see him, butterflies in tummy, sweaty hands, walking on clouds feeling.

I've been 'in love' a few times in my life or infatuated or whatever else you want to call that upside down, head over heels feeling.

We count love as feelings. Of course we do, we measure love by what we feel. And being 'in love' is often the beginning of really and truly loving a person. Sometimes we also end up hating that person. Or sometimes the feelings just fizzle out and fade away. It of course depends on the situation, and on our own expectations of that person. Often our expectations are too high, because we have a tendency to believe that having that particular person we deem ourselves 'in love' with to make us happy. Often people fall short of our expectations. And why not, we are all after all, human, and therefore fallible.

So I have learned that just because I am 'in love' with a person does not make them the key to my happiness, the only person I should depend on that for is myself. And often, I even disappoint myself.

I have learned a lot of lessons about love. Often what we deem as true love is often based more on other feelings, such as lust, desire for something other than what we have (be it escape from a bad situation, boredom or whatever.) Sometimes, we even convince ourselves that it MUST be love. I have learned not to always trust these feelings. True love stands the test of time.

True love starts out as that exciting, love/lust attraction. It has to start somewhere. For instance, when I met my husband, we couldn't get enough of each other. We couldn't keep our hands off each other, and we would end up in bed more often than not. After we married, was when things started going downhill. No, actually we had problems BEFORE we married, I guess we both thought that marriage would solve these problems. Our relationship was volatile. We often expected too much of each other, we both ended up sorely disappointed in each other, in our marriage. Disillusioned, we fought often and bitterly. Our relationship was based on sex, we never had a chance to form a relationship based on friendship and mutual respect. We never 'got to know each other'.

But somewhere deep inside, we both loved each other. True love stands the test of time.

Sometimes, I feel like throwing in the towel and giving up. I am sure that sometimes he feels the same way.

But more often, I dream of a future with him.

I've

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>