by Patricia Watson

Created on: January 24, 2010

The after shocks of divorce can shake the very foundation of your confidence. It does not matter what caused the demise of the marriage, society sees it as a failure. The repercussions of a divorce can have a profound negative affect on your self worth and confidence levels. The only person, who can prevent this negative ebb in your self confidence, is you.

How divorce affects your confidence

• Friendships

It is a fact that you will lose some friends following your divorce. Try not to take it too personal. Some of the friends that surrounded you and your spouse during your marriage will pick sides. Don't let your confidence be shaken by people who were never truly your friends. It is easy to fall into a negative way of thinking about yourself. Perhaps you are shouldering all the blame for the break up of your marriage. When friends pick sides after the divorce, they were never truly your friend at all.  Focus your energy on the friends that still support and love you.

 • New relationships

When you lose the love and trust of a spouse, through divorce, it is hard to move on. Your confidence in your ability to attract and keep a new love in your life can be damaged. Fear of another romantic rejection can keep you from dating after the divorce. You will need to tell yourself that you are worthy of having someone to love. If you need counseling to build your self-esteem, don't be afraid to seek help. Many people have suffered years of verbal abuse, inside dysfunctional marriages. Self confidence can be destroyed by an abusive partner. You will likely need some degree of professional help, before you can see yourself through new and confident eyes.

• Learn how to love yourself

Lack of self confidence, brought about by a marriage failure, can lead to self-hate. It takes two people to enter into a marriage and it takes two people to end the relationship. Learning to love the person you are, flaws and all, will be a huge step in the healing process. If you don't like yourself, it will be hard to enter into a new relationship.  Take the time you need, after the divorce, to get to know yourself again. You are a dynamic individual, full of promise and love. Spending time with yourself, following your own personal dreams, will build your confidence levels to a new high.

Divorce does not have to mean the end of everything in your life. You were an individual with dreams, before you entered into marriage, and you are still that same wonderful person. After a divorce, there is tremendous opportunity for self-growth and renewed confidence in your own abilities. Keep focused on the positives in your life and let the divorce slip quietly into the background noise inside your head. 

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