by Sandra Lowen

Created on: January 24, 2010   Last Updated: January 25, 2010

THE PERFECT CHRISTMAS: FLIGHT FROM REALITY

Christmas – The very word conjures up sights and scents and textures worthy of the very best Currier & Ives sugar tin lid.

Of course, there’s snow, covering every acre of the city with its purifying blanket. Carolers sing the anthems of the season, and cinnamon-sprinkled cider rewards them for their serenade. Spruce or pine or Douglas fir scent the air from a tree decorated Martha Stewart-style with glass globes of many colors, twinkling lights, frosted with ozone spray that simulates snow and an angel perched on top, surveying it all. A new glass ornament in pink or blue announces ‘Baby’s First Christmas’ or ‘Joni and Ted’s First Christmas Together’. Presents carpet the floor and stack up to cover the Watch Plaid skirt. Santa has come with a vengeance, and left behind the brightest packaging he could find at the North Pole. Jordan’s bike doesn’t fit in a wrapping, however, and he will see it from the stairs as he descends, and whoop for joy, awakening the other children to the excitement of the day. Rachel Ray presides over the table, or maybe it’s the Neelys from Down Home or Gordon Ramsey in a really good mood, and from the dining room come such smells – such smells – Mother and Dad arrive, their divorce proceedings miraculously placed on hold, and they smile lovingly into each other’s eyes. Dana has found a worthy boyfriend at last, and a sparkle on her left hand indicates that this one is for real. A terrycloth-robed spouse works the cappuccino machine. Cheese bagels magically appear. Love, life, and laughter fill the air.

Balderdash and bah-humbug!

It is questionable if there is a single quarter outside the frame of a Norman Rockwell painting in which Christmas goes perfectly. Rife on celluloid and now available on DVD and Blu-Ray disks are the multiple spoofs on pursuits of the ideal holiday that don’t take into account the stresses and strains of humans and circumstances on the Christmas scene. Carolers don’t invade one’s home space much, anymore, and it is probable that one must drive to the local church or community center to catch any strains of ‘Silent Night’. Cable or satellite TV draw pageants in, obviating the need to venture out, snow or no snow. And speaking of snow, once one hits forty or so, snow comes to mean shoveling and salting, rather than snowmen and snowballs or flakes melting

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