by Misty Rain

Created on: January 23, 2010

Of all the gifts in the world, I was born to be a conscious empath.  From when I was very little, I was able to sense things and feelings that no one else could.  I was unable to understand why I was always overly emotional for no reason.  It was only in my years after I graduated from high school did I realize what this gift was.  A gift such as this required much self-control.  It nearly destroyed me when it got the best of me.

When it first began, I was just able to pick up the feelings of just the person or people that were nearest to me.  And as it grew, so did the number of people's emotions.  From just picking up emotions from people around me, I was beginning to pick up emotions from people within an entire restaurant.  It was like a sudden flood of emotions of every single person that was infesting my own.  With no apparent reason, my emotions were changing from happy to anger to any other emotion in seconds just by the strangers around or by walking into a crowded room.  It was and still is an emotional roller coaster!  I realized that I needed to put in a self-conscious effort to control it before it controlled me.  Not every time success was gained.

In my mid-twenties was when the worst happened.  I grew ill, and I no longer had the energy to control it.  This took a severe toll on my mind, body, and spirit.  I didn't realize that as an empath when I was overtaken by other's emotions, those around me felt the wrath from it.  I was out of control and to the point I was forced by doctors to take medications.  I didn't realize that taking medications would only make things worse.

The medications only suppressed the emotions that were going on within.  As days went by, it was as if an emotional burden began to grow.  If something grew beyond the capacity of what it was able to hold, there would be an explosion.  That happened to me.  It got so severe, that I began taking it out on myself.  I felt life had no meaning and everything needed to end.  I completely cut myself off from the life I was supposed to be living.  I even refused to be in public simply because I didn't want to feel a single thing.  My family had to assist me in regaining my senses.  That was when I realized the medications were making the emotional imbalance even worse.  They had to take me to the doctors and tell each of them to stop their medications since it made matters worse for me.  To recover from such medications took years.

Til this very day, my entire self has been playing catch up by healing on its own.  I am glad to have my empath abilities back to "normal," though at times I still have problems controlling it.  Healing made my instincts grow even stronger.  If a stranger were to come up to me, I am able to read that person's soul.  Some people think it is passing judgment, but my instincts are always right if I am listening to it.  It is when I don't listen to it do I find myself with a broken heart or soul.  Though this gift can be a burden when negative emotions are sensed, it is the positive ones that makes it all worth it.  What I feel is double or triple the fold of what a normal person would feel if my emotions are on the same wave length as another.  But with all things in life, the good must be taken with the bad.  For it is the combination of both that helps a person grow with their gifts or anything life has to offer.

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