by Catherine Lenehan

Created on: January 22, 2010

Breaking the "Ultimate Bachelor" out of  his "pad."

The Pad

Bachelor pad. An interesting idiom for such an abstract concept. What really makes up the pad of a bachelor? Could it be that it belongs to a single guy?
Hmm, probably not. Imagine, for a moment: the good-looking guy at the bar with a gift of talking to the ladies, successfully convincing them to spend a glorious night together. Then, Surprise! At least he seems to have his own door to his parent’s refinished basement. Now that would certainly not be considered ultimate.

So I pose the question once again - What makes up the pad of a bachelor, how does one achieve the grandiose title of an “ultimate” pad?

To answer that we must conquer the question of the vast traits that separates the singles from bachelors. One that is most obvious is their love of the triumph involved in sex with multiple women. We often reference this lifestyle, love in general actually, in terms of a sporting event: the single game, the “player”, it’s all about the chase, etc- so much so it becomes a sport in its own right . So when it seems as though a single male lives in a place with more bachelor padiness than others, it occurs to me that it must be their enjoyment of singularity more-so than another.

When one enjoys said singularity many may imagine this pad to be equipped with contraptions to ensure their victory in the sport, reminiscent of Brad Allen, Rock Hudson’s hunky portrayal of the ultimate bachelor. Allen likens a man to a tree and bachelorhood as the independence that comes with standing tall and resolute in the forest, until marriage comes along and transforms them into boring household furniture. Until then each match is the championship, and the trophy is a nice, shiny new notch in their tree trunk. With a flick of a strategically placed switch – the lights dim to the perfect romantic glow, Marvin Gaye begins to croon, and that wall that once was a bookcase actually flips out to a magnificent hide-a-bed with silk sheets. Hopefully that idea stays in those movies, like James Bond and Pillow Talk.

The variances in requirements are endless to earn the honorable title of bachelor and bachelor pad. My friend Artie achieved one such pad, seemingly as unrealistic as those in the movies.

The Bachelor

Artie was described by Dominick as the “ultimate” bachelor. He was a nice guy, despite the fact that he was from a hellish little NY island that churned out

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