by Lee VanAmee

Created on: January 22, 2010   Last Updated: January 23, 2010

Delayed gratification may be a swear word in some circles. It is not something that most people consider a positive right off the bat. 

One of the problems with delayed gratification is that once you stop using it, it is very, very difficult to get back into your behavior and mindset. Another problem with it is if you have never had to use it in your life discipline learning manual; you will have a much harder time incorporating it now. 

Life ebbs and flows; good and bad; yin and yang. Part of this process is the fact that no matter how long you are on this earth you do not get to have everything that you want; when and how you want it. Now, some children may have been raised by having everything handed to them on a silver platter and that is fine as long as they never leave their home or never grow in any way. Also, consumers had been trained to think along the same lines, the "entitlement" advertising, showing us having it all now, don't wait, there is no reason to wait to have your cake and eat it to. 

Well, there happens to be several reasons you should "wait" to buy that car or house, or take that trip, etc. 

1. Meaning: If you can really have everything at all times; your life becomes dull, there are no more challenges to conquer, no more striving to be better.

2. Skills: Your marketplace skills, communication skills, interactive skills become obsolete because you don't need to use them anymore.

3. Stagnate: Life's ups and downs are what build character in us; otherwise we just are always the same. 

So I would say that delayed gratification is a huge building block in our quest to be whole and balanced happy individuals. What happens is when we have to either put away money in a savings or just reschedule a big trip or purchase; we learn something. We learn what we value; we learn how to anticipate a happy event to look forward to; we learn to appreciate the good things in life. Otherwise it all blurs together; the good and the bad. We start moving close to the speed of sound and there isn't enough distinction between what we value and what is just the "life stuff". 

You can always tell someone who does not understand delayed gratification. They are impatient, short sighted, ill tempered and angry at the world, and they are also the have to have it now, or else, kind of folks. In essence, unhappy, out of balance if something goes wrong kind of people. That is because there is a certain character building that comes with delayed gratification, you learn that not only can you wait, but you actually get something of a bonus in waiting, you learn acceptance, patience, flow, compassion, and a whole lot of other virtues that don't come from a class in school or a credit card purchase.

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