by Lee VanAmee

Created on: January 22, 2010   Last Updated: January 23, 2010

Everyone has been there. We have all been surprised by something at some time in our lives. It can be a good surprise or a very bad one; but it makes us feel off balance in some way; like our whole being has somehow been changed in a split second. 

It is hard to adjust after an occurrence that has altered your whole day and seemingly who you are and what you were thinking previous to the event. As with anything in life, if it doesn't happen very often you are probably more ill prepared than others because you have not had to sharpen your experience in this part of your life. As a matter of fact most people dread surprise so much (good and bad surprise) that they go out of their way to never be in that position. 

And yet at the other end of the spectrum you have the people and professions that thrive on them being steady in the storm, calm among the paparazzi, the heart surgeon in the middle of an operation, the hero who lifts the car up so the victim can crawl out. It does sometimes seem that certain people are either born with or very skilled and talented at keeping their composure at all times. We can truly see the difference now with all of the reality shows and when "unknown" people become famous, some make it and thrive and some go on a downward spiral. 

When you need to maintain your composure you have to quiet down the fight or flight message your brain is sending you and get it down to a dull roar. That way you don't act first and think later. Even in a medical emergency; you still are thinking first it only seems like you didn't have time to think of the proper action.

Remember you are still the same person you were before this event threw you off balance. I think it is hard to get a feeling of normalcy when we are "thrown for a loop" so to speak, by something said or an action that was totally unexpected. Just before you were surprised you were probably a pretty calm person, just being you, maybe chilling, or maybe involved in some task. If you can; try to at least bring a semblance of that calm feeling back to ground your emotions for you. 

There are also some more humorous and non emergency events in which you want to only show utmost composure. On a date, job interview, when someone disrespects you in front of your peers, when you trip and fall in front of an audience, I am sure you can think of your own. Even though no one's life is really at stake; you feel like yours is. The best way to keep your composure; is to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again!

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