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According to Jesus, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13) It could be said that the love of God for His/Her creation is true love, because it is the basis of all of creation. This suggests that true love also means putting another's well-being above our own.

The two great commandments in the New Testament, as given by Jesus, are about love. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:37-40) These commandments suggest that loving others is dependent upon being able to love the self.

Lester Levenson was a young physicist who was sent home to die after a second heart attack. He questioned his life and asked whether he was happy and decided he was not. He asked if he was loved and decided that his family and friends did love him. Why was he then not happy? He tried to recall the times in his life when he had been happy. To his surprise, he realized that the times in his life when he had been most happy were those times when he was loving someone else.

When we talk about true love, we are generally thinking in terms of finding someone who will love us unconditionally. Such a goal is worthwhile, but what about us finding the capability of loving another unconditionally?

In the very act of seeking true love, we may be missing the point. To the extent that we are able to become the most loving being possible, to that extent we will be able to find and experience true love from another. One who is incapable of loving the self, is incapable of loving another.

Many people are looking for the perfect woman or the perfect man. Is it possible to find the perfect partner, to find true love, if we are not perfect ourselves? Isn't that like trying to buy a pearl of great price with counterfeit money? By cultivating our ability to love others, the love of others will come to us easily and naturally. As long as we experience ourselves as lacking the love of others, we can be sure we are not being loving enough ourselves.

There is a saying that in order to get something, you have to give it away. If we want love in our lives, we have to be loving. I don't know if there is such a thing as true love between humans, but it is certainly something we can strive for. In any case, what you find when you begin trying to love others more and more, is that you will have more and more love in your life and much more happiness.

Learn more about this author, Bob Trowbridge.
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