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Funny stories about local police

by Derek Snow

Created on: February 19, 2007   Last Updated: April 27, 2007

When a young man or woman graduates the police academy, completes their probationary year and begin to ride by themselves on patrol, every single one of them believe that they are going to save the world. By the time they get to my current stage, us old guys are content to save our house but the "Rookies" are going to set the world on fire, and some more than others.

My first experience with an overzealous Rookie came when I was assigned to the deep night (11PM-7am) shift in the Dispatch Section of the Communications Division of the Police Department. This was pre-computer or MDT days and ALL communication between cars and base was by radio. Although not an approved practice, when officers wanted to laugh at or block the trivial transmission of another employee, they simply reached down and opened their radio mic for a split second and released it causing a "click" over the air.

The new Rookie, John Belton, was forever calling out on suspicious cars, people, buildings and circumstances, causing his neighboring beat partners to be constantly back him up. This was in the day when management held you accountable for crimes committed in your assigned beat area (what a concept that has long gone) and forbade you from driving outside of that area except when assigned by a supervisor or dispatch.

You certainly did not want to spend the night in a neighboring beat backing up a rookie who cried wolf at everything. This particular night was relatively quiet. I don't remember the day of week but it must have been a Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, the traditional quiet graveyard shifts.

At about 2:15am, after the bars had closed Belton came onto the air screaming "UNIT 115 - MAN DOWN . . SEND ME BACKUP AND A SUPERVISOR!" to whatever the address of the strip mall was, I don't remember.

A supervisor checked en-route and the "clicking" started and was more frequent and unforgiving as I had ever heard. Click, click, click, click, click on and on.

When the air did clear for a second or two, Belton was back on screaming, "AMBULANCE!" and then Click, click, click, click, click and "MEDICAL EXAMINER (coroner)!" Click, click, click, click, click . . "CRIME SCENE" Click, click, click, click, click "PERIMETER UNITS!" Click, click, click, click, click.

"THERE IS A MAN ON THE SIDEWALK WITH A BUTCHER KNIFE IN HIS BACK!" Click, click, click, click, click click, click, click, click, click click, click, click, click, click click, click, click, click, click.

I was new myself and did not know what

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