by Lisa Beach

Created on: January 19, 2010

At my biggest, I was 243. There were so many reasons for the gain – I had once been 133 – but the biggest reason was that my husband was gone a lot. I ate because I was lonely, and almost as a revenge against him and my own body. Food became my friend.

It never berated me for feeling worthless, from low self-esteem. I was a newly-wed, had been ripped from my family to another state. Dealing with a husband who was rarely around; being suddenly alone in a state I never knew, was enough to drive anyone insane

All it ever did was snow. In fact, the year it snowed July 1 and flash-froze my roses was the day that tipped the scale – either we were leaving, or I was leaving.

Oh Lord, losing weight is odd. In the last stint before hubby came back from his last 3 month sales meeting or whatever you want to call it] month stint, I had lost 10 pounds – but through the stress of moving, I gained it all back. Darn: Why does losing weight have to have such a yo-yo effect? Slowly I was picking up a few tips here and there: Stress and boredom were killers, as apparently was being sick.

I was sick a lot, and didn’t know why till we moved to North Carolina, and a doctor told me I had had double-pneumonia, and had scarred lungs, Chronic Bronchitis, and that it was complicated by asthma.

High stress, the Yo-yo Effect, low self-esteem, and feeling on some level that what the people who laugh and snicker may just be right. Well here’s an open secret: Even those who laugh and snicker have low self- esteem. Regular people who gain 10 to 25 pounds panic. Because no one tells them it’s normal after having a baby, or because they are older, and their metabolism has slowed. Sometimes these things are tempered by the lack of a good check up – especially if one has diabetes: obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure and the like. .

My doctor told me I could walk slowly some where easy as long as I kept my aspirators with me. I chose walking around the mall, as it was one level, and didn’t make my heart race. People may have still snickered, hurling insults, but I drowned them out with a music CD, and head phones. After a week, I had lost 5 lbs. – and that was with three asthma aspirators.

I can  honestly say that the more weight I lost, the easier it was to lose it; to feel empowered; to mention the weight I had lost over and over again till my co-workers and others shut up. As I lost a little more weight each time, I lost

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