by Mellissa Withers

Created on: January 19, 2010   Last Updated: December 13, 2010

Dealing with a bitter ex is not on any top 10 things to do, hell, it is not even on the top 100 list of things to do; however, with the divorce rates still climbing every year; it is a necessity for a many folks. Having to deal with a bitter ex is especially true when you have children with your now ex-partner. While this can be a frustrating thing to have to deal with there are many things you can do to make sure that the bitter ex spouse cannot cause drama in your house.  The top four things that you need in dealing with a bitter ex are:

Have the patience of a saint.

Dealing with a bitter ex takes a lot of patience.  Most bitter ex’s will always see everything as against them. Nothing makes them happier then to claim they are the victim.  Nothing in their life is ever good, so they will be extra sensitive to your successes.  They will try your patience at every turn so make sure you have the duct tape for your mouth with you at all time for the days that you lose your patience.  Every time you give into their drama, they win.

This includes when they hurt the children, call your spouse names and of course call you every adjective in the book. Nothing they say or do is worth you loosing your cool over.  Every time you fight with them, it is the children that suffer.

Place boundaries. 

Boundaries or rules have to be in place to ensure things run smoothly. It does not matter if it is an agreement between two parties or a court order; rules are there for a reason.  Do not try to do things your own way as it will only give you grief latter on.  When one party does not follow the rules, it creates huge trust issues that are hard to overcome.  Making sure, those boundaries are respected, as this is paramount in any type of working relationship.

Boundaries can be as simple as limiting when calls can be made to the house on school nights, so they will not interfere with bedtime or as complex as court orders. The last thing you need is to spend two hours calming children down right before bedtime.  Other things may be not allowing extra visitation due to being lied to and not returning the children as agreed to.   The best way to make sure this drama does not happen is to place boundaries based on the visitation order. 

Communication. 

While limiting needless communication is a good thing, eliminating communication all together is not.  There needs to be communication between

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