by hisbabydoll

Created on: January 18, 2010   Last Updated: January 19, 2010

Ten years ago, I would have said yes, of course, fathers should have equal custody rights to his children.  Now, more than slightly biased by events, I'm not so sure.  Don't take this as my being anti-father.  I guess, I am mostly anti-joint custody! Joint custody, is usually a fiasco - a ticking time bomb waiting to happen.  For those parents who manage to pull it off, congratulations.  You are fairly unique.  Joint custody can allow one parent to take advantage of the other - using the child as a weapon. 

I think in divorce, the children should be given to the parent most likely to foster and facilitate a relationship between their children and the parent with visitation.  If for whatever reason, the child(ren) wants to live with the unreasonable parent - the court should strive to make an iron-clad order of conduct and visitiaton between the parents.

My story: 

I separated from my ex-husband a decade ago.  At the time, our son was six.   I divorced my ex because he was unhelpful, weak willed, and never put his family before his own failings.  This sounds harsh,  I know.  So before you dismiss me as a bitter battle-axe I should explain that better.

My ex-husband has very low self esteem, and puts the views and wishes of the alpha dogs in his life before his own.  I had to actively work to give him an equal say during our marriage, because usually he just wanted me to make all the decisions.  This might sound like heaven to some - but it really just put ALL responsibility for everything squarely on my shoulders alone.  More importantly, my Ex would put the needs of his Son AFTER what other people wanted from him, or told him to do.  He'd let his parents smoke in a closed car with our son because he'd rather my son suffer health effects from second hand smoke, than to make his parents angry at him. 

Anyway, we were married young.  We didn't know each other as well as we thought we did.  I didn't love him.  I separated from him and two years later we were officially divorced. 

Straight off the bat, my Ex declared he could not possibly have our son during the week and he would prefer weekends. This was good news for me, considering I was highly distrustful of my Ex's ability to raise a child full time.  I had been prepared to offer 1 week on, 1 week off, and just keep an eye on how that went.    However, since

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