by Lily Falska

Created on: January 17, 2010

Excerpt from "The End"

You should know that this is not a happy story. There will be no happy ending here. At no point will I have learned from my mistakes and then go on to lead a happy life, never to make those mistakes again. I will not suddenly look back fondly and thank anyone for the times that they did indeed make me happy and fill my heart with love and hope. I will not find God. I will not die in peace. This story once told will simply end. Why bother then, if not to inspire hope, or give people a will to go on? What would be the point in sharing? The point is that there is no such thing as a happy ending. Some people’s lives end happily, but it is rare and it is usually a lie. This story will be told and it will be told truthfully if you don’t like it, don’t read it.

But it won’t be told, and if it were it wouldn’t be truthful. My story is muddled by pain, and misery and is a skewed version of what probably happened. Not to mention my story is mine. It is one I can’t talk about. It is a cancer that slowly eats away at anything that is red and ripe with life. My story is over. What is left is not a story it’s an outline of what could have been. That’s the problem with life, that’s the part that no one tells you. At some point you stop, but it life goes on. You can lose everything and still be breathing. People on the outside can’t see it they will never understand it unless it happens to them. If it did happen to them they wouldn't want to be around you anyway. So you’re alone. Your pain cradles you because really, it’s all you have left. It’s all you cling to in order to have some semblance of a life. You remember how close you came. Every minute that passes is another minute that the pain gets worse. That the memory rips deeper into you that the red inside turns black.

You are “existing” but you are not alive. You stay breathing and moving like a zombie because it is expected of you. You go on for those that ask it of you because you’ve always tried to do what others asked. When you did do what you wanted, when you were happy, when your life was becoming a story…your story ended here.

So here is my skewed version of a story. Its not all bad, in fact a lot if it is filled with laughter and joy and love. So much love. That the other thing they don't tell you. You can love, and laugh over and over and over again but when it runs out it can never

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