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I decided a while back that everyone in this world can be categorized as either a Bert or an Ernie. Some couples are made up of one Bert and Ernie; other relationships are more homo-Muppetlike in make-up.

You are a Bert if:
You are compulsively clean
You take care of the billpaying in your relationships
You disapprove of those who are irresponsible and flaky
You are not one to get hammered because you don't want to be seen in a bad light
You often worry about concrete details like finances and your reputation
You collect things and keep them nice

You are an Ernie if:
You are compulsively messy
You tend to attract people who like to take care of you, then annoy the crap out of them
You like to play, speaking in crazy accents and poking fun at others and yourself
You think the little kids who show up at the family reunion are the best company
You don't worry too much about stuff like money; it'll take care of itself in the end
You are prone to wacky fears, like going down the drain in the bathtub

Which one am I? Gee, Bert, I don't know. I do know that there is a pile of clothes and books on my side of the bed and that I am terrified of whales.

Learn more about this author, Sarah Torribio.
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