by Mac a'Bhaird

Created on: January 17, 2010

Growing up, my parents tried to make me adopt almost as a mantra, the saying, ‘Sticks and stones my break my bones, but words will never hurt me’. In fact, I learned the exact opposite, more like: ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will pierce the heart’.

Although it appears as if some people are almost immune to the harmful effects of words (like a politician!), rare is the person who is, and certainly, many people are wounded because of words.

Most of us will remember the tragedy that occurred recently when a woman created a fake MySpace account in order to attack, through words, a friend of her daughter’s, 13 year old Megan Meier. The online bullying led to Megan’s suicide. It is heart wrenching to think of this young girl being wounded fatally by words. Yes, they were simply words, but words can pierce the heart.

Since words are our primary means of communication, they can be helpful, supportive, or harmful; they can lift us up or drive us down. People, especially children, thrive on praise and encouragement that builds up their self confidence, whereas harmful words can leave permanent scars.

James, the writer of the little epistle in the New Testament, said the tongue “is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison! How great a matter a little fire kindleth; it defiles the whole body”, he said, “and sets on fire the course of nature, and it is set on fire of hell!” (James 3:3-7)

It is doubtful he could have used more stern words in warning us of the danger of the tongue. Of course, we know it isn’t the tongue itself, but the words articulated by the tongue.

I remember a few years ago, my wife and I were babysitting our daughter’s kids, and one of them was acting like a ‘brat’ (an ill mannered annoying child). My wife said in her frustration, trying to correct him, “You’re a brat!” Wrong! Time out… he isn’t a brat! Oh, it’s so easy calling him a brat, because he was acting like one! But the rule is nothing positive comes from a negative base! You only get positive things from a positive base! Instead, she should have said, ‘Listen here, young man, you’re a smart, intelligent boy. Now act like one!”, or maybe ‘you’re not a brat, so don’t act like one!” By approaching it that way, no names would have been called, no one would have been degraded. Our little grandson didn’t need to slink into his room thinking, ‘I am a brat, Nonnie, the one I love so much, thinks I am a brat”… no he needed to go in there and think about what a fantastic kid his Nonnie believes he is, and that he knows better than to be acting like something less than what he is.

Yes, words, what a great fire a little fire kindleth! If we can only keep in mind that fire can also be constructive, and use our words for construction instead of destruction!

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