by Honey Velvet

Created on: January 16, 2010

How do you know if you're depressed?

Well that's a difficult question for a start, as many people don't actually know they're depressed even when they have been for quite some time. I certainly didn't, but looking back on that time of my life now, I realise there were many symptoms which suggested I was suffering from the condition.

Firstly, I started to lose my appetite, gradually eating less each day, and after a couple of weeks, hardly more than half a sandwich each day. Even though before, I used to have a very healthy appetite.

I'd then struggle to get out of bed each day, feeling extremely sluggish and tired wishing I could just stay in bed permanently, regardless of whether or not I'd had a good nights sleep.

Upon waking, would dread what the day may have in store, often waking up tearful or grumpy, would run my children to school, rush straight back home, to spend the day by myself wrapped up in my duvet.

Before this period of 'darkness' I was an extremely sociable person and would enjoy going out most weekends with my friends, but started to make excuses to stay at home, or would start to get ready to go out, but have a change of heart, and ring and cancel at the last minute.

I also stopped communicating, not wanting to talk to friends and family, would ignore phone calls, and wouldn't answer the door. At some points, I guess I was kind of 'living in my own little box-world'.

Sometimes, I would get out of my chair, go into another room to undertake a simple task, but would reach that room, stand in the middle of it for a lengthy time, staring into space, and eventually leave the room to return to my chair, forgetting why I'd gone there in the first place!

Another sign was when I started to shy away from intimacy and affection with my then partner, which was extremely out of character for me.

It was my mother that believed I was depressed and first took me to my GP, where I was prescribed anti-depressants, which worked for around 3 weeks, then after that period, I started to feel worse than before the treatment. This happened again with a different type of anti-depressants I was prescribed after that.

I then bought some St John's Wort which helped a little, but for the main, it was music which helped improve my moods, and being in sunlight which helped greatly.

Unfortunately, I never carried on with any treatment, so my condition was left underlying, and actually reared it's ugly head again recently in a much worse form.

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