by Desiree Gordon

Created on: January 15, 2010   Last Updated: January 16, 2010

Many may not agree with this thought, but cheating is emotionally harmful for both the person that cheats and the person that gets cheated on.

We hear it all the time from people who appear on talk shows to give their side of the story about a significant other that cheats. In fact, we even get the chance to witness the revelation of an infidelity performed by a person that decides to bring their significant other in front of a live studio audience and in front of millions of viewers watching from home.

In most cases, the person that is cheated on, vows to leave the infidel and to move on with their lives; while others decide to give that individual a second chance; simply because they believe that we all are human and make mistakes.

For those that decide that they want to take their significant other back, really depends on their level of forgiveness and trust. Once someone cheats or shows any type of untrustworthy characteristic, most may find it easy to forgive, but never really forget. The reminder of said infidelity may come to mind when the infidel does anything out of the norm no matter how simple it may be. It could be the decision to work late at work or to take a meeting with an individual of the opposite sex.

Realistically, our knowledge comes from our experience. Everything that we know, we know it because we have experienced it in one way or another and are able to make the decision to continue doing it or to cease said action. That of course all depends on if it positively or negatively affects us. As people, we may be able to mentally store a negative event in the back of our minds, but in actuality we do not forget it.

Much in the same way, those who are cheated on may be able to forgive their significant other for cheating, but simply forgetting about it is impossible and would probably be lethal. For one, not keeping it in mind could lead to denial. Forgetting will not aid in dealing with the situation that is what forgiveness is for. Not forgetting about an infidelity does not mean that you can never trust that person; it just means that you are well aware of the past and that puts you in line to have a better grasp for the future.

At the beginning of this, it was mentioned that both the cheater and the cheated on are emotionally harmed by cheating. Though the cheaters are in the wrong for their actions, their decision to cheat hurts them just as much as it hurts the person they cheated on, but this depends on if they are empathetic and truly remorseful about committing infidelity. It hurts the sympathetic, because they will never understand what the person they cheated on is experiencing, and just the thought of them knowing that-that will be a part of their relationship if and when they are forgiven, is enough to have an effect on them and to prevent them from making the same mistake.

In this case it is wise for a cheater not to forget about their infidelities for it would be a reference point for them if they think about committing the same act that caused friction; this is again where the knowledge gives rise to experience point that was introduced earlier comes into fruition.

Can a person that is cheated on ever forget? The answer would have to be no. No matter what negative situation a person experiences, they will always have it in the corner of their minds. It’s not there to haunt them if they choose for it not to, that would be too much to bear; it is, however, there as a reminder that hopefully allows them to avoid repeats. This of course depends on if the person chooses to deal with the first step of dealing with infidelity, which is forgiveness.

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