by Jane Prinsep

Created on: January 15, 2010   Last Updated: January 18, 2010

So much of our time these days is spent discussing physical appearance; how, as a society, there is pressure for us to conform to an “ideal”.  Magazines and newspapers regularly feature articles on anorexia, bulimia, self-harming and all manner of destructive conditions, blaming pressure from the fashion, film and music industries, leading us on a crusade to celebrate being happy in the skin we are in.

But turn to the next page in these same publications and what do we see?  We see the tantalising eyes and beautiful cheekbones of “Size Zero” models, posing in designer clothes and expensive jewellery, oozing with style and confidence; a very contrary message to the one read only momentarily before; a message that does nothing but confuse.

Yes, these kinds of “mixed messages” churned out by the media need addressing; however, essentially, I think we are missing the point.

So much emphasis is given to being happy with our physical selves.  However, I truly believe that happiness cannot be achieved if we are not happy with ourselves as people, on an emotional, mental and spiritual level.  Our thoughts, words and deeds make us who we are; not the size jeans we are wearing.

I believe that some people obsess about their appearance, because it is the only facet of themselves they feel they can control.  In a way, this conveniently detracts from having to look at themselves as people, because the reality of who they are as people is something they are not able to deal with.

But we cannot be happy with what is “within” us, if we are not prepared to examine who we are.  I believe the main reason so many of us refuse to look closely “within”, is that generally, we are terrified we will not like what we see there.  Human nature usually dictates that we all want to like ourselves, and we want others to like us. Self-examination means that we may find something that we don’t like; something that needs to change.

We are afraid of change.  Why?  Because it means we have to venture into the unknown.  It also means hard work, possibly even emotional pain, whilst we deal with facets of ourselves that we don’t like that are most likely caused by painful experiences from our past.

I also think self-awareness has much to do with generation.  It is becoming more acceptable now to talk, to self-examine, to seek therapy; to be “self-aware”.  It certainly

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