by Lindsay Fahey

Created on: January 12, 2010   Last Updated: January 13, 2010

Breaking up is hard to do, no matter what age you are. It is a difficult process that is very delicate and mature in matter, and should be handled with care. The first tip is to try and not do anything immature, like slash their tires or something like that. Losing you will be their punishment, and doing something crazy could land you in jail. (At the very least, everyone will think you are nuts and not want to be around you.) 

First of all, try and break up from the heart. Try not to turn into a fight, or he said, she said. Reflect on the good times your relationship brought and the sadness you will feel upon it's ending. Even if the person was a total jerk and deserves the dumping, it is still unnecessary to kick a person while their down.

Don't rehash the past and go through what you or he/she could have done better or different. If you are breaking up with the person, clearly it's already over. No need to bring up items past. Be honest, and explain your feelings and emotions. If you have never been that type of couple with this person, this is the time. Again, be honest, even if it's not the nicest thing, they do need to know why you are breaking up with them. Chances are, you will be shocked at what they didn't know.

Don't be afraid to let yourself cry or be emotional. It's a difficult process to break up with someone you loved, or even liked but did not work. Do not lie to the person.  Don't make them think you will stay friends if that is not your intention to "soften the blow." Actually, lies like that cause more hurt than good, and if you break up with someone, you should probably stay away from them for awhile. Even with the best break ups, space is usually needed by both parties.

Make sure when you go to break up with the person, you actually do it. Some people feel bad for the person, or get talked out of it by that person saying they will change...etc. If you made the decision, weighed the pros and cons, and decided to break up with the person, then do it. It doesn't have to be forever. If he/she is offering changes, just say that you'll be broken up for now, but in the future anything is possible. Because it is. If you stay with someone who says they will change, they won't. They may change if you go.

Also, most breakups should be done in person. However, I feel that letters can explain things often better without the interruption, so that could work to. If the person calls you or comes to see you, then you can talk about things, but be strong. It probably won't be easy for either of you. Breaking up is just difficult all the way around. Honesty, clarity, and closure are the main points to remember when breaking up with someone.

It will never be easy, but following these guidelines should make it easier for you. Good luck.

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