by M Kayo

Created on: January 12, 2010   Last Updated: January 13, 2010

All right, your girlfriend has left you and you're all busted up about it. Maybe you didn't treat her right when you were together and now that she's gone, you realize how great she was. You think it's too late for you as a couple but it may not be. All around the world, couples do get back together and actually go on to have great relationships, perhaps even leading to a happy marriage. Well, if you're finished crying, pouting, and being depressed, it's time to buck up, put on your big boy pants, and take a serious look at getting your girlfriend back. Here are some simple steps...

1) The Big List of Don'ts.

Don't apologize more than once. It only needs to be said once and then it's time to move forward. Don't guilt her back into your arms. Don't tell her things are different now, she won't buy it. Don't make promises. Make a promise to yourself that you will be 100% honest from here on out. Mean what you say.

2) Make a List.

Get someplace quiet, away from it all, where you won't be interrupted. Take a pen and paper with you because when you find that place where you can be undisturbed for a few hours, you're going to think hard. Think about your relationship. What did you like? What did she like? What were the things causing problems in your relationship? Can these things be changed or eliminated? Why were you both good together? Make a list, write everything down and read it carefully. Now read it again. Is the relationship worth what it's going to cost you to get your girlfriend back? If the answer is yes, proceed to step 3.

3) Time for a Change.

OK, now it's go time. Time to decide if you really want her back. You know you're going to have to change some of the things listed in step 2. Are you willing to change the things that stand between you and your girlfriend? What do you need to do in order to change? Will it require counseling? Do you need help from a doctor or other professional? If you really, truly love her, you're going to have to make some hard decisions, get serious and do some work here. If she is worth getting back, then the cost will not be too high.

4) Start Back Slowly.

When you have decided you want your girlfriend back, and you're willing to do what it takes to get her back, it's time to approach her. Be very careful here, start slowly, move ahead gently. Start by reinitiating a friendship. You want her to see that you are different, that you are willing to change for her. Being around her is the best way to accomplish this. Be her friend first, and then let things take their natural course. If you treat her right, put her needs before your own selfish needs, let her know you truly care for her, she will move toward getting back together with you.

Relationships of any sort are always going to be difficult. Romantic relationships are even more sticky because the level of vulnerability on the part of both parties. People can a do get hurt and hurt one another, especially when love is involved. It probably wouldn't hurt to educate yourself on the dynamics of relationships. Navigating in these relationship waters can be dangerous. Going on a journey without a map is just stupid. Take some time and learn a bit about relationships.

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