by Jesse Card

Created on: January 12, 2010   Last Updated: January 14, 2010

While divorce has become commonplace in American society, it can yet be an arduous and tiring process, especially when child custody is in dispute.  Whether you are attempting to get sole custody, work out a joint custody arrangement, or working out the details for your visitation rights, there are many things you need to know about the process and how to make it easier on you and your family.

Think of the child[ren] first:   There are many decisions that need to be made when filing for custody.  The parents, whatever custody arrangement occurs, need to always consider what is best for the child rather than selfish goals.  Depending on the age and temperament of your child, the divorce is going to create some big changes in their life, so decreasing the effects of those changes wherever possible is very important.

As part of this, make a decision on what type of custody you are seeking so that decision is made in the proper perspective.  All parents want custody, but will gaining sole custody take your child from other siblings?  Is the child truly better off with you than the other parent, and can you prove it to the judge?  Decide what is important to you, but try to make that decision in light of what the child needs.

Child custody disputes are very expensive:  Because most people are not adequately trained to fight their own case in a custody dispute, lawyers are generally needed.  Even in very basic cases where the parents agree on all terms, lawyer and court fees easily reach the $2,000 mark.  If there is dispute, however, those costs rise exponentially. 

The process of discovery, negotiations, time in the courtroom; all come with hefty fees from your law office.  There are ways to mitigate some of the cost: prepare your own documents and have your lawyer simply review them, consider using a mediator to attempt an agreement with your spouse, and limit the need for discovery as much as possible are a few. 

Make sure you shop around for your lawyer.  The ones with the best track records are also often the most expensive.  Some lawyers are very interactive, some you will never hear from.  Most offer free consultations, though, so try to sit down and discuss how they work and their pricing before making a choice.

Do your research:  Every state has its own Family Law code, and the process for filing is different; even between judges within the same state at times. 

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