by Haley Gray

Created on: January 12, 2010

Taken by surprise,
my first sight
your eyes.
You, in your yellow jacket,
and me, in my indifference.

Later, we brought in the New Year
-a whole new kind of first for me-
as black swarmed in,
buzzing.

I didn't feel a thing.

Mentally, I retrace my steps,
backtrack to you.
A tousled head protruding from the sheets.
You are tender, frantic.
I am calm,
eyes flat as the sea.

Mentally, I retrace my steps,
backtrack to you,
find myself afraid,
as if it were really me.

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