by Alison Fernandes

Created on: January 11, 2010

The traditional view that pornography is something slightly unwholesome, and a source of sexual stimulation reserved for men, is outdated in today's society where it is accepted that both men and women can express their sexuality openly without censure.  Let us examine then how pornography can be healthy in a relationship.

A new relationship usually does not require any stimulus other than the pleasure of exploring and getting to know our partner.  The pheromones and hormonal levels involved in mutual attraction and initial sexual contact create an intimacy that allows us to give and receive pleasure freely.  In the first flush of love and sexual attraction, we feel a lack of inhibition in exposing our bodies and our personal preferences.

Pornography can be as much a sex aid as any costume or love toy, providing mental and visual stimulation through pictures, photographs and written fantasy.  Both men and women enjoy this form of stimulation and can be aroused by it.  Reading fantasy stories together and looking at pictures not only creates a strong sexual energy, but can open the door to exploring new games and finding novel ways of arousing and satisfying our partners.

Pictures can supply us with ideas of sexy clothing that our partners will find a turn on, while stories, fantasy or real life accounts, can be a constantly renewable source of ideas of how we can give pleasure to our partners or where we can indulge in either foreplay or full on sex.  Exploring this type of material can also go a long way to us discovering our true sexual nature and personal inclinations, which might otherwise go unnoticed.

In the Internet age, pornography is also widely available on line via our computers.  There is a plentiful supply of sites catering to all tastes, although it is well advised to avoid those sites that may cater for unlawful tastes.  However, for people who want to share time, photographs and fantasies with others who have similar tastes, the Internet provides places to interact and to meet potential partners.

So we can see that pornography is no longer perceived as being the undesirable presence in a relationship or as sleaze.  Instead it has become an art form, a source of education, entertainment and personal expression and fulfilment.  The only limits are those imposed by our own imaginations or courage to express our true sexual inclinations - to expose our most intimate sexual needs and fantasies.  While this could be said to make us vulnerable, it is also undoubtedly a valid means of finding our real sexual identities and fulfilling our deepest desires.  Ultimately, we are able to clearly understand from this that pornography can be healthy in a relationship.

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