by Asheleigh Jason

Created on: January 11, 2010

There are four steps to abuse that make the ongoing cycle. The steps continue from the first to the fourth, then repeat themselves over and over until something breaks the cycle. The only way to break the cycle is to forgive, but never forget.

Step One: The abuser seeks control by making the victim fearful.

Step Two: The abuse occurs. It could be physical or mental.

Step Three: Abuser tries to confuse the victim by making them believe it was their fault or that the abuser could not help themselves.

Step Four: The abuser hopes the victim will get a false sense of security or calm believing the abuse has ended, or will end soon.

Unfortunately, the cycle is beginning once again.

Everyone always comments that the abuser should be punished or should at least get the help they need to stop the abuse. The victim has to speak up before either of these things can occur though. There is more than one way this can be accomplished. Child abuse happens everyday, and telling on the abuser is something that is hard for a child to do for numerous reasons. My personal experiences have taught me much about how to break the cycle of abuse.

My own abuse began small, and I didn't even realize it was abuse at the time. My mother had remarried when I was eight. The man she married began to show signs of possessiveness towards my mother. I didn't realize at the time that he was trying to slowly place a wedge between the two of us. My mother became pregnant shortly after they married. We moved from our apartment into a duplex. The first day we stayed at the duplex, we slept on the floor. This wasn't nothing bad because our furniture would be delivered the next day. As I fell asleep I heard soft talking, and shrugged it off. As I was about to fall asleep I felt the full force of a belt between my backside and my back three times. They were snickering behind me. I remember them saying to shut up or they would give me something to really cry about. I didn't know why they spanked me like that, but I was scared they would do it again. So, I silently cried myself to sleep. If I heard them moving around, I held my breath for fear they would hear me and do it again. Still, as an eight year old, I didn't know parents spanking their children was abuse. I just didn't know why they did it, and that bothered me.

The next type of abuse I remember dealt with money my grandmother would send me for necessities, and savings for college. I would get her letters, but already opened. The money would not

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