by Joanne Smith

Created on: January 11, 2010   Last Updated: January 16, 2010

When did growing older become something of shame and embarrassment?  When did living your life become a fish bowl event, one that you could be judged on simply by the lines on your face and the lack of color in your hair?

Growing older should be about knowing yourself inside and out.  If should be about living up to your own standards and enjoying the self assurance that comes with success and understanding only gained by experience.

How is it that society has stolen the right of the aging public to be confident in the skin that has brought them through life?  How can generations of women suddenly be convinced that lines in their hands and color on their teeth make them worthless and unappealing?

Parents of young girls love to blame the media for cramming under weight models down their throats and selling them too short of skirts.  They are quick to gasp at underage sex occurring in their schools and then turn around and blame it on television.  But is it only the media serving our children up a platter of self doubt and a constant feeling of not being good enough?

Women in this generation, if they have bought into the commercials flashed all over the television, have been convinced that there is not a body part visible on their bodies that could not be improved. From their breast to their feet, from their skin color to skin texture, from stained teeth to colorless hair, they need a make over.  Shows are selling new looks which include new clothing, new make up and post surgery bodies.  No one is safe from strangers wondering around telling us why we look horrible and how we should be shamed into changing.

As a woman just beginning my thirties I am already feeling the guilt of aging.  I cringe at the lines formed around my eyes.  The lines that are there from my lack of attention of wearing the proper sunscreen, from not wearing the right eye protection.  It is there because I did not use the skin cream to prevent wrinkles.  My hair is thin because I did not buy the expensive shampoo, I used elastics and I did not use the right brushes.  I have enormous guilt over all of my wrongs each time a commercial comes on my television.  My daughter has seen me with a box of hair color, she sees me covering up my imperfect, yet human skin with make-up.  Why?  How would I answer that if she were to ask me?  I could say for myself to feel better, but why would it?  Because a television screen told me that long lashes and pink lips are beautiful?  Because age spots are evil and thin hair is sinful.  How can I expect my daughter to ignore the garbage she sees covering our television screen when her mother is bleaching her facial hair and removing stains from her teeth to appear different?

Aging is about maturity.  Maturity needed to see through the insults and lies fed to us through the media.  Maturity is understanding how the body works, and yes that includes gravity.  Women have the right to be beautiful, not air brushed beautiful, not blemish free beautiful but beautiful because she is unique.  She should be judge on how she wears her clothing, not on what she is wearing.  Until the women and aging public matures into women willing to accept their own truths, and not the truths that make other people millionaires our society will continue to convince the next generation that they are not worthy of their own opinions of what is beautiful

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