by Carla Shaffer

Created on: January 08, 2010

First of all, I have to tell you that I am a woman that is well educated and makes good money. That being said, I also have to say that I cannot control a budget. I was never taught to handle money nor was I taught how to handle a budget. It has taken me a long time to admit to husband that I prefer him to handle the bills and just leave me a small amount of money to buy groceries and a few other things for the kids. It's not that I don't want "my own " money. I do earn money that helps to run our household; I just don't want to be responsible for making sure the bills are paid.

I, like many other women, that prefer that their husbands handle the finances, but we do not want to be treated like mushrooms and kept in the dark about our financial situation. I want to be treated as an equal in the relationship and be informed of the bills and how much money we have sitting in the savings account. On the other hand, I feel no great need to be in charge of the finances.  My husband and I have found that when I have control of things other than balancing the check book I fail miserably. I hate the idea of being bound to due dates and contracts. I know that if I am in control of the budget that bills will be late and that as in the past things will start going to collections. This makes more stress in our marriage than allowing my husband to do what he does best and that is to handle the finances.

It has taken both of us a long time to realize that I cannot handle money. I am well educated and medical professional, even. I can handle this kind of stress and pressure. Money, on the other hand, is more more stressful to me than my job. I don't feel ashamed or ignorant about my husband handling our finances. I feel relieved. I feel relieved because I know that the electric,gas and water won't be shut off at the end of the month and that there will be adequate money for food and clothing for our kids and grandkids. To me, having my husband handle the money is a blessing in disguise. My husband  and I both feel less stress knowing that the bills will be paid and that when the lights go out its because we hit the switch and not because the bill was left unpaid. 

Learn more about this author, Carla Shaffer.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.