by Annie Duncan

Created on: January 08, 2010

To find the answer to how to make a man fall in love with you is complex as the difference between attraction, infatuation, obsession and falling in love. 

Falling in love happens mutually as both the woman and man become more intimate. Falling in love is something that happens after the initial infatuation and does take some time.  As we learn more and more about the person and they about us, it will move the relationship into one of mutual love and that oh so wonderful feeling of being in love.  If the one person finds the more they learn about the person the less of an attraction then they may try and end the relationship.  This is where the pull/push begins and the more the uninterested person tries to pull away the more the other tries to push for a more intimate relationship.  Unfortunately this is where obsessions are formed and articles are scanned looking for that magical formula that doesn't exist.

To be realistic it is not possible.  If there was a secret love potion or a 12 step program to "make" a man fall in love with you then how many man would be falling in love with a new woman every day?   Just think of the chaos for Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt caused by been cast under a spell by the thousands of adoring fans who all read the same instruction manual on how to make a man fall in love.  The flip side of this is why would you want to try and attract a man by changing yourself to be what he wants?  In the end, you would be miserable pretending to be somebody you are not and he would eventually catch on to your true self and wonder why he is in the relationship in the first place.  

In general the majority of men are attracted to the physical: a youthful appearance, wide hips and bigger breasts all connected to our survival genes - the woman's ability to procreate.   But even if you are lucky enough to meet all the criteria of the initial attraction, all you might fare is short lived attention as attraction is not love. Men fall in love to a multitude of characteristics that are very specific to the individual. 

I knew a man who was on the shorter side of statistics; only five foot nine and he was attracted to taller more athletic built olive skinned women.  He came right out and said he didn't want his children to be short like him.  He dated many women that fit that specific criteria but never fell in love with any of them.  His wife of several years now is a petite, fair-skinned woman barely hitting five feet.  If you asked him why he fell in love with her he can list off a series of characteristics all to do with the person she is not the person she looks like.  Most of us have seen a couple and gone "oh my gosh, what does he see in her?"   The answer may be something very simple but we will never know. 

The answer to the question "how to make a man fall in love" is:  be yourself and if it is the right man he will fall in love with you.  If the man of your affection does not seem to return the feelings move on, it isn't worth the heartbreak.

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