by Michael Sauve

Created on: February 19, 2007   Last Updated: April 29, 2007

I find being agnostic is a bit of cop out. But I find myself drawn more to this believe everyday. That there is no true way to prove or disprove the existence of a soul. But I lean more towards the belief in God. Hold true to this fact that If there is a God and I do not believe there is, I lose eternity for lacking faith. But If I believe in God, and there is not one. What do I lose then?

I also have trouble with reading the Bible. It seems religion seems to pick and choose what passage to hold viable and to what passages they will dismiss -ostracizing such practices as abortion and homosexuality, but ignoring such practice of isolating women for 7 days when she is menstruating or stoning people for acts such as rape. It seems Christianity picks and chooses what parts of the old testament are to be held sacred and what parts are now longer listed as "not applicable." So is religion the act of God or the act of God or the act of Man? Is the Bible the words of God or the words of man?

These things, amongst other issues, I remain on the fence about.

Here is what Exodus 21:22-24 says on abortion:

"If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman's husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine. And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life. Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe."Exodus 21:22-24.

It is clear from this passage that less value is placed upon the fetus the a person that has been born. Furthermore the Jewish faith deems that the soul enters the body at birth, not at conception. It is found that more than a third of all pregnancies end in a miscarriage. Are each of these souls lost? This statistic is believed to be even higher if you consider how many eggs. These numbers are inconclusive, due to the fact most women don't even know they were pregnant, let alone pregnant, but are believed to be quite high. So do all this lost pre-fetuses count too? If so, we are talking billions of souls that have never even set foot on earth that are in question. Because surely if a fetus has no concept of itself, how is it to have a concept of God?

But science does not lead me down anymore conclusive avenues. Scientific theory has been proven and disproved time after time. It is constantly changing on how the universe is created. Sure we have great ideas such as the "Big Bang Theory." But what of it? So where did it come from? Well you can't create matter, according to smart physic types. Does that mean that this crap was just floating in space, waiting to be crunched together? That doesn't sit well with me. It had to come from somewhere, doesn't it? And don't most stars Super Nova once they become too massive? Why would it allow to all matter to balled up and then let lose long before it could be everything in one ball.It would seem it would of imploded long before it would of got that big.

We must rely on the fact that it was just some astronomical game of chance that carbon molecules just happened form life. But yet they have never been able to spontaneously create life. You have better odds of winning the lottery 100 times in a row then creating life out nothing. So is this in fact as feasible is it seems?

This leaves me to be somewhere on the fence on these matters. For the mean time I keep in God, but remain open for other ideas and notions as well. The truth I feel is somewhere in between. Only death will reveal the truth.

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