by Olivia Emisar

Created on: January 07, 2010

A country song has the following line "I keep finding love in all the wrong places" and that is pretty much what a large number of the population has been doing for ever and a day.  This technique of looking for love is akin to playing Russian roulette or trying to find the proverbial needle in the hay stack. 

Some people have a lot of fun "finding love in all the wrong places" but when they are longing for the "real deal" it is time to get off the familiar path and add new routes to reach the desired destination. 

1. Stop! and make two lists. 

Stop moving from bar fly to bar fly and take the time to re-assess your life and make a list of your wonderful personal attributes, your skills and abilities.  List everything that is great about you, don't be shy, it is just you and that piece of paper and you know what you are really good at and what you and others truly like about yourself, so write it down!.  Once your list is complete and you have honestly, and rightly so, admired all your great attributes on one side of the paper, make another list of the things that bother other people about you, your weaknesses, the things you don't like about yourself and be honest about it, you know what those things are and once again, it is just you and the paper, so there is no need to justify or hide things under the rug.

Once you are armed with the raw facts about yourself, you will know exactly what you bring to the table when entering any relationship. 

The second list is about your "true love".  Write all the qualities you expect her/him to have and see how they measure up to the things on your list.  If there is something that makes you wonder why would someone like that want to be with someone like you, it is time to improve the things we did not like about ourselves on the other side of the paper while keeping in mind all the other wonderful things that are positive about us. 

2. Be yourself 

Since you are now realistic about all that makes you the wonderful person that you are, it is time to really show your true colors confidently and without pretense.  Let everyone see you with all your defects and attributes, nothing makes people more appealing that accepting themselves as they are and showing themselves without pretense. 

By the same token, you now know what qualities your true love should have. From this point forward, every man and woman you meet is your friend even if they are not your true

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