by Olivia Emisar

Created on: January 06, 2010

Should I stay or should I go?  If you have to ask yourself that question chances are you already have one foot out the door and are waiting, or hoping, for something or someone to remind you of all the positive reasons why you should stay.  

Neither men nor women hold the record for making these hard decisions, both genders have had to make this decision at some point in their lives and it is not an easy process to dismantle the perceived and expected notion of a happy long term relationship and taking a look at it from a dispassionate point of view in which the reality of the situation overwhelms the most carefully crafted romantic visions. 

Once people take the time to ponder whether staying is worse than leaving or vice versa, they have already taken the first step to visualizing a life without their partner.  For many, it is the first step out the door, the thoughts and actions have not fully crystallized and other steps will soon follow. 

There is a laundry list most people go through when making this decision and it is seldom a decision that is made lightly. Most of the time, the actions and feelings are "something" people go through without any real clarity and when they make statements that aren't true, they are trying to convince themselves as much as they are trying to convince their partners because deep down, they are holding on to the notion that the way they are feeling will eventually go away, or that they are perceiving the situation too harshly.  Self doubt abounds during the period where actions and feelings are on auto pilot. 

The auto pilot/emotional laundry list has the following components, they have been enumerated, but they are not necessarily in order since not everyone would go through all the items and they are all subject to the very personal experience of the individual: 

*1.  Coming home at the end of the day is delayed as much as possible.

*2.  Leaving the house at every presentable opportunity has become the norm.

*3.  Accepting voluntary assignments out of town and insisting that "the company needs me" or "my job requires it".

*4.  Spending free time that normally would be reserved as "couple time" to visit relatives, help friends or feigning extra work or chores that must be done.

*5.  Remaining aloof or unresponsive whenever we are with our significant other.

*6.  Awareness of feeling distaste about being in his/her presence.

*7.  Having intimate

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>