by Karen Eckles

Created on: February 18, 2007   Last Updated: December 04, 2010

Invite or not invite the children? This can be a sticky issue, sometimes literally! While it is a wonderful idea to have a couple of cute Flower Girls dropping rose petals, and a little man in a tux with the Ring Bearer's pillow, you may want to opt for no children at all.

Children are at best, unpredictable. I know, I had one. You may be counting on everything going off without a hitch, but the fouryear-old Flower Girl may have another plan when it's her time to walk down the isle. Children of guests are not going to be as quiet and interested in the wedding as your adult guests, and keeping them entertained and managed at the reception is another detail to remember.

Dilemma: I want to have children in the bridal party, and as part of the ceremony, but I do not want my guests to bring their children.

Solution: On your inner invitation envelopes list only the adult family members you are inviting. Plan to have any small children involved in the wedding leave after the ceremony. A sitter may need to be arranged. Older, teenage children should be able to stay for the reception. If you have children of your own, that is your call, and your guests should understand.

Dilemma: I want to invite children to the wedding, but I am not sure how to keep them occupied.

Solution: You may want to have an age cut off for the children. List the names of only those people (children included) that you are inviting on the inner invitation envelopes. Plan to have the ushers ask the parents to take any disruptive or crying children outside during the ceremony. You could have "favor bags" made up with quiet snacks and toys to keep them occupied during your vows. The ushers could pass these out for you.

During the reception, you may want to have a children's table and/or hire someone you trust and who knows first aid and CPR to keep an eye on the kids and help entertain them. A separate room for just the children may be available, but have a security measure in place to keep anything from happening. Decorate the table and/or room just for the kids; hire a magician or clown and have face painting. Also, plan a menu for the children, that is age appropriate. You don't necessarily have to give them what the adults are eating. Older children may feel more grown up sitting with the adults and eating the same meal.

Remember that this is your day to shine and be the center of attention and sometimes little girls and boys all dressed up, take the show, and sometimes they do things you never expect. You may get little fingers swiping some icing off the cake or running circles around the dance floor non-stop. Make a decision that is right for you and your fiance together. 

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