by Athena Brady

Created on: January 05, 2010   Last Updated: January 06, 2010

What are regrets ? I think most people would agree that they are things we wish we had done better, or never at all. There are probably lots of things in your life that fit this description. From marrying too young to staying with unsuitable partners; to less subtle issues like drinking too much alcohol to buying something you couldn't afford.

Maybe however, it could be argued that even regrets have a function to fulfil in our lives. For example, how could you compare the colour black to white without knowing what each one looked like. Similarly, how do you learn what is the right thing to do, if you have no concept of what wrong is? If we look at things from this angle, regrets can actually, have a positive impact in our lives.

Life is a learning process and as we evolve we choose to either repeat our mistakes, or adapt our behaviour. If we adapt we grow and if we choose the former, we stay the same and maybe the situation will worsen. So if we stay with an abusive partner the situation will get worse unless the abuser (a)accepts responsibility for their behaviour(b) seeks help (c) changes their behaviour. If we leave we will with determination and belief in ourselves, be able to turn our lives around.

People who accumulate a lot of debt and spend an even longer time paying it back, often learn from their mistakes. Afterwards, they become more responsible financially. So in this situation, making this mistake (regret) has resulted in the person gaining real wisdom and moving forward with their lives.

Some people have suffered greatly in their lives and received support and assistance with their problems, from others. There are many social problems in the world today such as homelessness, domestic violence, drug addiction, child abuse, to mention but a few. Many people suffering with these issues have decided to give something back to society; as they know first hand ,how they were supported to turn their lives around. They have done this by becoming nurses, social workers, psychologists, priests, nuns,voluntary workers etc.

In conclusion, everyone has regrets in their lives and these can range from trivial to serious issues. However, I suggest that regrets can in fact, be a positive factor in our lives. In the midst of our lives there is great wisdom, if we take the time and have the courage to seek it out. The things that happen to us or that we do to others form the person we are. If we are not happy with the person we have become we can change that. Every moment is an opportunity to turn your life around and learn from your regrets. What do you choose to do?

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