by Kathleen Lynn

Created on: January 04, 2010

Fear that you are losing your partner can drive you to do things that are normally not in your character.  It can also cause unnecessary stress and problems in other areas of your life.  One of the first things it would be wise to do in this situation is to figure out what is causing the fear.  Why do you think your partner is slipping away? 

Now that you have figured out why, ask yourself if there is enough reasonable clues to justify your fears.  Did he really come home with lipstick on his collar or does his new secretary just look attractive?  Obviously because there are new people of the opposite gender in your partner's life is not a valid reasoning that you are losing the person.  However, there are clues that are more obvious or may seem telling if you are not aware of all the facts. 

The next step is to talk to your partner.  If the relationship up until this point has been honest and loving, then there is no reason to expect that not to continue.  Ask them if they are happy in the relationship.  Talk about the relationship.  Don't accuse them of anything, keep the conversation nuetral.  Take the time to truly listen to your partner.  This may do wonders for saving the relationship.

If all else fails, and you are losing your partner let go as gracefully as possible.  Don't become this crazed, multiple personality individual that will do anything to save the relationship.  If the relationship was not meant to be, the best you can do is to let go with some dignity and move on with your life.  Don't allow it to foreshadow everything in your immediate future.

You were yourself long before you were half of a couple.  Recognize that.  If you allow things to end gracefully and with tact, the door to the relationship doesn't slam shut.  Instead, it remains a window of opportunity that perhaps at a later date things can be worked out or the partner will realize that you were good for them.  They may come back.  There is a saying about if you truly love something you will set it free and see if it flys back to you.  That is a good motto to live by in these kind of situations. 

Besides, you may find someone better and not want it to return later.

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