by Julian Abraham

Created on: January 04, 2010

What defines a difficult person? Is it someone who makes life horrible for you? Or a person whom you can’t stand? In order to deal with difficult people, you must first ascertain what makes them difficult. Find out why is that particular person difficult to deal with. Identify specific reasons. It may be that the person is just plain annoying. He or she may not be pleasant looking in your eyes, or it could be a clash of personalities, attitude problems, etc.

Next, what is your relationship between the difficult person and yourself? Classmates, colleagues, friends or a member of your family? The kind of relationships between parties in conflict plays a part in how someone would deal with the situation. If you were close to the person, it would be wise to sort things out at a more personal level. But if not, you should engage in third parties to help confront the problem and seek advice from people whom you can trust and have in-depth knowledge and experiences in this area.

Some solutions that can be helpful are:

~Understand him or her – There may be logical and sensible reasons why he behaves in such a way. It could be that you did something that he considers detestable or he could be going through rough times in his private life and need to let out his emotions. There are a lot of possibilities that are applicable.

~Avoid worsening the relationship – Do not try to get back by taking revenge through humiliation or backstabbing or fight “fire against fire”. This will only blow the situation out of proportion and make the relationship irreparable.

~Maintain your composure and seem unaffected – It is best not to show you are irritated by his or her presence and avoid lashing out at the person even if the person deliberately tries to aggravate the outcome in the process. Otherwise, it indirectly encourages the person to continue with that offending behaviour and it does indicate you are “weak” in a sense, causing a boast in the person's confidence.

~Discuss with people who knows this person – See if there is a consensus and if it is negative or positive. Depending on their opinions, lightly question their reasoning behind their perception of this particular person. Conclusions that are drawn from the results can be helpful in evaluating how to go about resolving the issue.

 ~Confine in people who are capable of helping – Consult experts in areas that pertain to human behaviour and psychology or those who know that particular person well.

~Confront the person – It may not always work but is worth a try if you still can't find a solution even after trying all sorts of ways around it. Do it in a friendly manner without offending the person.

In this world, there are many kinds of people from different backgrounds and with different mindsets. But what's important is the ability to adapt to people with clashing personalities and communication traits, especially those whose profession or job requires frequent interaction with people from all walks of life like salesmen, those within a corporate organisation and customer service officers. In truth, everyone has his or her weaknesses, faults, shortcomings and strengths. Look on the brighter side, and instead of focusing on negative thoughts, dwell on the positive. Look at the person's strengths and give yourself reasons to be happy and you could just turn the situation around in your favour.

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