by The Idea Girl

Created on: January 03, 2010

Love brings happiness to some and grief to others.  When you love someone but it is not returned then it hurts.  When you find someone that loves you unconditionally, it gives you security, hope and happiness.  In a world where millions of people live close beside each other on a daily basis, why is it hard to find love?  Maybe it is because your expectations are too high.  You want everything to be perfect all the time and it just does not work that way.

  A relationship of any kind takes work. You have fights and arguments with your friends, but you make up and go on enjoying the companionship.  In a marriage or relationship, people think that if they fight it is a sign that they are not happy with each other.  That is not true.  If you do not fight, you are not expressing your opinion or learning to compromise with the other person. It is easy to walk the other way when you do not get what you want, but it is not going to solve your problem. If you hate being single and always need someone in your life, you need to stop being that way.  No one wants to date a leech.  You need to have a life of your own, hobbies, a career that you enjoy, and friends of your own.  Do not expect someone to bring you happiness it will not happen.  Maybe for a moment it will but then you will fight and your “feeling” of love disappears into thin air. 

Love is about commitment, it is about working at something to make it a success. When you love a hobby, you take time to nurture, and educate yourself on what you need to do to develop your craft.  The same should apply to your relationships.  If you want love in your life, you must love yourself first then share the love you have in your heart with another. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. You look at them in pity; they look at the mirror and see strength.  They do not care what you think about them, they have someone who loves them no matter what. Now that is true love. 

One, who loves, never deserts anyone who is in a time of need.  Even if you are no longer together in a relationship and remain friends, you will drop whatever you are doing when that person calls and they have a crisis in their life.  You are a shoulder to cry on when they break up with their significant other.  In some cases, this kind of friendship can lead to pity sex.  It is not a good practice; you will only get hurt in the end.  You may have the greatest sex between two people, yet there is no love.  When the attraction falters, or you start to age and they do not find you attractive anymore, they will walk right out of your life.  This is not love, it was a relationship based on lust. 

You need to face your fears and ask yourself do you want love in your life.  Alternatively, are you happy with whatever comes your way?  Nevertheless, my friend I must warn you, you will suffer consequences for every decision you make.  You will find that you loop your decisions repeatedly and never learn from your mistakes. If you are not happy then change things. If you want love in your life, you must love first. Then the Universe will use that love to draw someone to you. A soul mate, a friend, a confidante, someone who is stable, loves you unconditionally and accepts you just the way you are, faults and all!

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