by Annette Hatton

Created on: January 01, 2010

Relieving Stress: How to Get Patience

Voltaire said, “God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh.”  Translated this means learn to laugh and quit taking things so seriously.  We plea, “Lord give me patience and give it to me now.”  Careful what you ask for you might just get it.  So how do you get patience to keep your sanity with all the idiots, morons and imbeciles that surround you?  That depends greatly on the source of the need for patience. 

First we need to define and clarify; there is a difference between “patients” and “patience.”  Patents are people who are under medical care or treatment.  Patience is being serene as in overcoming surmounting provocation, annoyance, misfortune or pain without complaint, loss of temper or irritation.  There is also a difference between an idiot and a moron.  An idiot is a stupid person with a mental age below three years, while a moron is a stupid person with a mental age of between seven to twelve years. An imbecile is a moronic idiot with an umbilical cord attached.

Youngin’s, kids, children are generally to some degree imbeciles, not quite old enough to be left alone and too old to have a babysitter.  

Teenage Girls are hopeless addle brains with hormonal imbalance. The good news is eventually they will leave home taking their PMS attitude with them.  Until then lock them in their room and restrict them until they turn forty.

Teenage Boys are incorrigible klutzes who if they are not using it, they are thinking on its behalf, particularly after they discover teenage girls.  The good news is soon after they discover girls one will decide to take him home with her and suddenly the girlfriend's parents cook for him, clean up after him and the girlfriend decides what he will wear and usually buys it for him.  Your food and clothing bills drop as does your laundry and house cleaning chores along with the fact you now have a spare room to rent.

Husbands are cement-headed, all mixed up and permanently set and all they need to become a wrestler is a lobotomy and some tights.  To get rid of your frustrations here get out your credit cards and go shopping like a woman on a mission from God.  It is a good idea to go shopping more than one hundred miles from where you live so you can take a whole week to do it right.  Let them cook, clean, wipe runny noses and run

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