by D. Victor

Created on: January 01, 2010

I realized very early in my life that it was better to have many options than few alternatives. Choice is central to our existence; everything we do revolves around it. The quantity and quality of choices that we have often depend on the decisions that others made. Choices can be either explicit or implicit. We make them when we act or even when we fail to do so.

When you think about it deeply, you would find that choice is empowering. When you regularly have alternatives, you have greater control over your destiny. Naturally, that makes you more responsible for your fate, but self-determination is critical to self-actualization.  When you have the option to take a back road instead of facing the traffic, you feel empowered. When you know that you can move on to a more fulfilling career if you need to, you feel powerful and confident. Indeed, choice is one of the greatest facilitators we have. Once you use phrases like "I want to" or "I choose to", you might feel more powerful than if you say "I have to," even in the most constricting situation.

Our choices are often validated by the result—not the method we used in making the choice. One of Shakespeare's plays asserts that "All's well that ends well." Sometimes, choices do not result in a positive result, even if made with the right intent or design. The difference between a good and bad choice can be as simple as the result. You can make a decision and be judged a genius. If that outcome were different, you might be judged a fool—even though you did not have as much control over the outcome as the attribution suggests.

Even when you do nothing or fail to act decisively, you are making a choice. For instance, when I choose to abstain from voting in an election, I am actually exercising my right not to vote. Those who claim that non-voting is giving up power should reflect on what life would be like if we were all forced to vote—forced to make a choice. In the same way, when we fail to act in other areas of life, we condone the status quo or situation on which we fail to act. When we do not exercise, we are choosing to be unhealthy, even if it is not a conscious choice (or our conscious mind is overtly against the choice).

We can make a choice but we do not choose the consequences of it. In apartheid South Africa, a coloured person could elect to walk on the pavement but would likely find himself beaten and/or arrested. The laws that we live with necessarily constrain our choices. Even where laws do not exist, social mores and prudent practice should govern our decisions. If you decide to divulge your innermost secrets to another and have the other person react differently to you—you made the choice but you still have to accept consequences that you have limited control, or no control over.

A mature choice is one made with due consideration to the likely outcomes and consequences. With choice comes responsibility. It is impossible to anticipate the consequences and outcomes of all our options before we make a decision. However, a mature choice is made with due consideration based on available information. You cannot make a mature choice irrationally or in an emotionally unstable or fragile state. If we are not certain of our decision-making, seeking the counsel of respected and trusted persons can help us to make better choices.

The quality of your life is dependent on the quality of choices that you and others make. Sometimes, your options are limited or constrained but remember that you always have options. Even if something bad happens to you, you can choose to remain defeated or rise from the ashes. The choice is yours.

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