by Lisa Miranda

Created on: December 31, 2009

The Other Child

My daughter is an amazing little girl!  Her demeanor, at school and in others homes, is perfect.  When she is in the safe confines of her own home the story is a bit different.  Her demeanor can change as fast as the flip of a light switch.  She will transform between sweet and lovable to full of depression and anger.  There was a feeling of insecurity and fear of not knowing when this would occur. The instances, when she was younger, would be weeks apart. Now that she is older it is by the hour.

I began taking my daughter to a Psychologist at three years old.  By the time she reached 5 years old the Psychologist referred her to a Psychiatrist.  She closely watched my parenting and my daughter’s demeanor to see what changes I could make to defuse the behavior.  After two years of behavioral therapy the Psychologist concluded that her problem was chemical and not behavioral or my parenting. 

The issues my daughter had experienced were crystal clear to me and I suspected Pediatric Bi-Polar at a very early age.  She could not be settled to sleep as an infant and rarely smiled.  When she smiled it often seemed coached.  She had no desire to sleep.  By her toddler years she could change her emotions at the drop of a dime and began to lie compulsively.  She had a difficult time interacting with other children as she often bossed and pushed them.  My daughter began showing signs of being invincible.  She could get stitches on her head and not worry about doing the same thing again!

If any of this sounds familiar I am certain you feel alone and you are not!  It is difficult to share this information with family and schools because your child is ok until they are home.  Parents often feel like they have failed in their parenting.  Coupled with this guilt is a child who appears to love you, in front of people, and hate you every time you give direction at home. 

The entire family struggles with the stress of not knowing how long until the next issue will break out.  There is an added stress, in talking to people, because they have not experienced, fully, the other side of the child and therefore think you’re the one with the issue.  You hope they are correct and stop pursuing help and it will go away.  The next mania happens and it is twice as bad as the last!  You find yourself, once again, sinking with your child, back into the black hole of this illness!

I am not an expert on this illness nor am I a medical professional.  I am just a Mom.  I am the Mom that will not stop until my children are happy and helped thus I have researched this illness for years.  Pediatric Bipolar is believed to be genetic.  Some report that if one parent has the illness your child has a twenty percent chance of acquiring the illness.

My reason for writing this article was simple!  You are not alone and do not give up or lose your confidence in searching for answers when it comes to your children.  No one knows your child better than you.  Teachers are not accustomed to parents seeking out help for their children unless they see the issue!  If the school does not support you…find a new school!  Family can often be in denial and if you find this obstacle talk more and do not ignore the issue as I tried to do.  I reached the point where I would tell no one of the testing, findings or therapy of my daughter.  I felt isolated and very alone.  Take care of yourself and know that you are not alone!

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