by Meredith Scott

Created on: December 30, 2009

Is it OK to tell someone you want to return their gift?

A gift is defined as something given to someone to provide pleasure or to show gratitude.  This definition gives the two most important reasons why you should not tell someone that you want to return the gift they took the time to select for you.  While the gift may be way off the mark when it comes to your taste, it was given to you by someone who has a connection to you or feels that you are special to them, even if it is a “Secret Santa” gift. 

One solution to this problem would be to hold on to the gift and re-gift it to someone that you know could use the gift. Just be sure you don’t re-gift it to the person that gave it to you.  Another solution is to include it in the next bag of donations you give to the Salvation Army or donations box.  There is truth to the saying that “one man’s garbage is another man’s treasure.”

You can exchange the gift for something that is more your taste or fits your lifestyle, but be sure that the person won’t come back to you and ask you to wear or display the gift.  If you don’t know where the gift came from, ask the person where they purchased the gift.  This may bring on a series of uncomfortable questions with the end result being you lying about your intentions or trying to find the best way to say you want to return the gift anyway.  Either way, this will probably bring tension into a perfectly fine friendship or relationship. 

Even when you think that the person has a strong shell and won’t be offended, you should not feel it is safe to tell someone that you want to return their gift.  After taking the time to select a gift especially for you, their tough exterior may be weakened by your dissatisfaction.  Take notice of how eager they are for you to open the gift as they stare into your eyes to see if you are just as excited about it once you see what it is.

The best solution is to keep the gift.  Yes . . . keep the gift.  You may find use for it at a later day and time.  If not, keep the gift as a memory of one of those gifts you just weren’t that into.  It probably isn’t the first gift you wanted to return and it definitely won’t be the last.

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