by Raymond D. Johnson

Created on: December 30, 2009

Self Portrait

 A lonely boy.

Fenced in by fear

Fear of the unknown.

What does he know?

He knows pain, depression, self doubt, muted happiness, insecurity, fragility, worrying.

The dark thoughts.

Dark thoughts for a lonely boy.

The dark thoughts swirl through his damaged brain.

The dark thoughts come,

They fence him in.

He feels trapped in a Greek tragedy.

There is a gate; all he has to do is walk out.

He’s ventured out before but always comes back home.

When he thinks about the unknown he wants it;

But inside the fence is safe.

Inside the fence is where he feels at home.

A not pleasant picture, but the boy knows it well.

The boy cries to himself,

“Can I change my nature, should I; is it useless to work against my nature”?

The boy cries himself to sleep.

Tomorrow the gate will still be open.

Will the boy go out?

I wish I knew,

For I am the boy

And I want to go out and play.

Many artists have done self portraits, usually painters. As I am a writer, this is mine.

For all those who have suffered with a mental illness and their families and loved ones.

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